Friday, April 30, 2010

A Little Night Music

Hey Everyone!

I hope everyone is doing well. My life is going relatively fine, and I'm in a relaxed state which is wonderful. Summer vacation is just absolutely exciting being done so early, the end of April I mean. Knowing that I have four months of complete freedom is absolutely the best thing I could ask for.

Now my day consisted of sleep, work, and watching some television. Autism-wise, I think the only thing that really happened was lingering on talking about my schooling with Chris's mother as we often chat after I drop him off.

Now here's a nice little war story (don't ask why I wrote this, I don't know lol) that I submitted for the Creative Writing course.

" The war has been going for five years, and I am here in the middle of it. I’ve watched countless people die on both sides. Watching people strewn across the battlefield, their eyes gazing at me with pity, yet dark due to their life having left them. Their expressions have left them, their minds are blank, their dreams and hopes for the future shattered because of this chaos.

I remember this one soldier I met the other day, a young boy, someone who couldn’t be older than eighteen years, shorter than me, thinner at me, only beginning his time in this battlefield, his face appearing to be the face of a fourteen year old. ‘How can someone this young be subjected to this horror?’ I asked myself, but he answered that question with a bright-eyed smile, ‘To protect my family!’ It broke my heart to hear that the boy joined the war to protect his family who was on the other side of the world. To think it would only be two years later that that boy would die. I saw it happen, and I remember it like it was yesterday. He had just been stabbed by a blade and was on the floor of the tent, bleeding profusely. He looked up at me with sorrow and pain, not believing he was dying as he hadn’t lived his life. I couldn’t bear to see him this way, the life fading from his body and his eyes growing dark. He asked me to tell his parents he loved them, and I agreed but I truly did not know how I could tell his parents their son was dead. If it were me, it would be a devastating blow and I can imagine that’s how it will be for them.

Now two years later, I’m still here in this war, watching the skies turn dark from the smoke of bombs, the land that was once full of grass, lush and green, is now barren and brown. Everyone’s faces, so youthful and full of vigor, now looking old and withered. Why? Why has this war gone on so long? We entered believing it would be a brief bout, last maybe a couple days, or months at most, and now it’s been five whole years.

This war given me a lot to think about however, more than I would normally think about in a year. When people get hurt, they learn to hate. When people hurt others, they become hated and are wracked with guilt. But it seems that knowing that pain allows people to be kind, and in turn pain allows us all to grow. I’ve seen people in this war be kind to children of this country simply because they’ve experienced the pain of this war and know what they’re causing the children is just as painful. But how we grow in this world is up to us. Once you know pain and think about that pain, you can try and find the answer of how to stop it. The problem is, one after another people still are dying, because finding the answer to stop pain is beyond our comprehension. Just by living, we hurt others in the attempt to avoid being hurt ourselves. Our very existence ensures that hatred will never disappear. Peace and harmony don’t exist, not in this tainted world. I think though that it’s no longer about bringing peace to the world necessarily, it’s about bringing peace to ourselves before we can even attempt to bring peace to this world. If we have hatred inside, if we have pain inside, we will never be able to bring peace because all we’d wind up doing is bringing our pain and hatred with it, starting over this endless cycle once more. I’ve had it with this pain and hate-filled world, and I can’t bear to watch this endless cycle go on any longer. I know it might mean the end of me, but I think that if I can end this meaningless war, losing my life will be worth it. This endless chain is like a curse for the world, but no longer. I will end this curse, and if any kind of peace exists, I will grab hold of it and never let go.

These thoughts I’ve had, have been developing over the past several years of being here. While I realize that they may be immature, or childish to think, but I truly believe I can put an end to this fighting. That peace is out there and I intend to find it no matter what it takes, even if I have to sacrifice my life to achieve it. I’d rather my own family live and enjoy the peace, then have to live in fear the rest of their lives. They may be safe on the other side of the world right now, but how long will it be before the war is brought to them. It’s already taken over nearly half of this side of the world, so I will stop it before it reaches anything else. For freedom, for justice, for life, I hereby swear in writing, that I will end this war by any means necessary."
Some of the ideas about pain and such, are actually referenced from the manga Naruto as I liked how they put it and everything.

That's all tonight!
Sean




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