So what a week it has been. First off, school's been going well, I'm kind of on and off at understanding my math class, one day I'll understand the material completely, but then the next day I'm like "huh?". I can only hope that I will be able to understand it and pass this course...
Writing is going quite well, as is Creative Writing, and I definitely enjoy it, though I suppose from previous posts you can probably tell that I am not a horrible writer :). So I suppose that's probably one of my more favorite courses.
My two Psychology courses are also quite fascinating. My Prejudice course is simply enjoyable; we actually spent two hours in debate about different quotes that just made the class so much fun. While Psychology of Creativity is just interesting because it's all about the psychology of what goes into creative minds.
Now as for my social life, well let me just say possibly one of the best things I could ever ask for at school has happened. This week I auditioned for Once Upon a Mattress, a musical rendition of The Princess and the Pea, and sang "What I Did for Love" for my musical part, and then had to do a dance part and several readings of different scenes. I just got the call yesterday that they had decided to give me the part of Prince Dauntless, one of the leads in the play. I was ecstatic. I mean after 1 year where there was no play in Grade 8, five years where I never got cast in any plays no matter how much I tried in high school, and then three years of being cast in minor parts with maybe 3 lines or so, to being one of the leads in the play I'm just so thrilled.
No news in autism, except rambling to my mom after my first workout of the year :D. Oh and there was also a news report on the television stating that people with autism have their own unique genetic footprint, completely different from the unique footprints non-autistic people have which is quite interesting. I didn't catch the whole story sadly, but it's an interesting thing to hear about.
As for my rant, well it's quite simple...it's about us, the people and our government. Or should I say, what's happening in the United States, which while it doesn't really effect me, it still unnerves me. So basically, from the start either each year or every 2 or 4 years, etc, we go to the polls and vote on the people we want to represent us in our governments right? However, as things progress in said governments, sometimes our representatives, senators, governors, Presidents/Prime Ministers, etc vote for things we don't want and as a result, we get all upset and start putting petitions together to allow us to get an amendment to vote on these things ourselves. What I don't really understand though is this: If we voted for these people to represent us in our government so that we don't have to go to these proceedings weekly, then why are we complaining? We voted for these people to make decisions for ALL of us, and now just because some people are all pissed off with how OUR representatives voted, we decide "Oh let's now go and vote ourselves". So from this I have to ask you a question, if we want to vote on things ourselves....then WHY IN THE HELL DID WE EVEN VOTE FOR OUR REPS, OUR SENATORS, OUR GOVERNORS, OR OUR PRESIDENTS/PRIME MINISTERS?! It just makes no sense to me why we elected them and then when one little issue comes up that we don't like; gay marriage, abortion, marijuana legalization, etc, let's just go "we vote!" Well I'm sorry, YOU voted for these people to represent us in every decision, just because you don't like how that person voted, don't start getting in a pissed off mood. He or she's representing more than just you alone, he or she is representing EVERYONE in their county, district, their state/province, their country. So before you complain about one thing out of a thousand things they voted on, think about it, if you didn't have them voting for you, you'd all be the ones making all these decisions. (And I'm talking the frivolous decisions too like what road changes to make, you know, the really really boring stuff).
I hope everyone's been doing well, I apologize for not saying anything yesterday but Lauren came for the night and I just didn't really have much time to post. I had a lovely time with her though, dinner, Sex and the City 2, and a relaxing time at home. I believe the only time an autism-related thing happened was when I was apologizing frequently to Lauren because I thought I might offend her with something I Was saying, luckily as usual I had nothing to worry about.
As for the title of my post, it has to do with something interesting I discovered about the fair world, and by fair I mean carnivals; they're money-gougers. Now yes, we can get into talking about the games that you spend tons of money on to win stuffed animals, I'm talking just getting tickets to go on the rides. When we went to the fair yesterday, one ticket, ONE, cost $1.75. I'm sorry but with that price, and with the rides at this fair being 3-5 tickets for one 2-minute ride, it's just ridiculous. I'm not shoveling out $5.25-$8.75 to go on ONE ride especially when the rides aren't like Canada's Wonderland or Disney World or anything like that...we're talking silly rides like a kiddy roller-coaster and such.
That's frankly all I can say about that, what do you guys think? Sean
So the thing I've been wondering today is about why I don't necessarily get the things I'd like in school. VP Operations, a big role in the school play, etc. I can't help but wonder, is it possible I'm too fixed in my ways that cause in how I present myself? Is it possible that because sometimes, I don't want to change my mind, or adapt to new situations, as a result I don't get the things I should get. VP Operations, a bigger part in the play, they weren't cases of me not getting them because I wasn't good enough, it was simply because people saw the way I was approaching things and doing things and as a result, felt I wasn't the right fit for the job. If I was different, then maybe I would have had a bigger role or been elected Vice-President Operations, both of which I would of done a great job at I'm sure, but because I can be fixed on things too much, I didn't get them.
I'd like people's thoughts on what you think, but that's my two cents for tonight.
I have to say sorry to my readers for slacking off so much within the last week. I really don't mean to get slack with my writing but it's just been time consuming at times. But here I am once more and I hope everyone's been doing quite well.
Today was rather normal, my grandfather came over for the first time in a month since we just weren't able to have him over because it's been quite busy here. I also had tutoring time with my neighbour again and he's doing much better at his sentence structure. We continued on by playing Super Mario Galaxy 2, which was fun but I think the autism thing that came up was the fact that I got a little antsy about him playing my game because I can't help but worry about someone messing up my games. I realize this is silly or could just be me being selfish, but I just have this feeling it really is autism because it gets in the way of sociability...
Anyway that was about it today. Glee was hilarious, especially with Matt Morrison singing a "love song" to Jane Lynch. I just cracked up the entire song because of how hilariously corny, especially her line after the song, "I was bored". :P
So it's been a dull couple of days hence the few posts. I had some tutoring to do, working with Chris, and just having a relatively dull weekend. I think the one thing that ticked me off was that I was going to see Prince of Persia with Chris but then last minute just as I picked him up he tells me he doesn't want to see it because it looks "too scary". The thing that's annoying is that he's 21 and I don't see how an action movie like the Prince is scary but I suppose for Chris, his mind is like a 4 year old's not 21..
What else to talk about? My summer's going quite well, I'm enjoying it a great deal. My autism has appeared to be at an all time low for quirks. Though it wasn't that way originally. Since I'm so use to structure, having gotten into summer it took me a while for me to finally get into a sort of structure. Apparently otherwise I act very "off" and very hyper at the same time. I might have talked about this before, but I don't think I did...
Anyway, that's all for today's post. This is counting as Friday to Sunday's posts, I hope you don't mind I just figure I covered basically everything regarding this weekend. So talk to you all Monday! Sean
So quick summary of the day: got up, had to turn on the stupid pump for the pool but it means our pool will hopefully be open sooner than later, worked with Chris which wasn't bad since we watched the rest of Monsters Vs Aliens which is such a good film :p and then just went back home. Autism-wise, I think the only part that happened was when I saw two friends of mine at the mall (went there too :P). The thing was, they looked different so I was so unsure about whether I should say hi because what if it wasn't them? Then I'd feel soooo awkward. This probably isn't autism :P but I just have to say maybe it is?
Question for you all though on a general scale. Do you find that in this world, we're all secretly being graded? And I don't mean in school, I mean in public, in our friendships, our relationships, everything? I feel as though no matter what we're doing, even if just enjoying a movie with our friends, we're secretly being graded on how we act, what we do, and who we are. But I suppose that's how life is really; we're constantly being judged and placed next to a standard of how people are suppose to be, and if you are against that standard, you're generally shunned for it and separated from "the herd" if you will. This especially applies in more conservative areas, because everyone in those areas want you to follow their rules so if you try and go against it, or are different, you get kicked to the curb.
This I find is very true because throughout high school, I found that many people seemed that they liked me, but as the years went by, more and more people I found were becoming two faced. For example, students council president, I felt I had strong support and a lot of people in the school liked me, but then at the end when I lost, I found out I lost hard because I only got such a small amount of votes. Basically it just made me go "huh" because so many people had said they'd vote for me because of what I believed was best for the school, and then they turned around and voted for the other candidates. Why? It's plain and simple, the fact is because my autism resulted in me often acting weird with friends or getting in their personal spaces or talking more than I should on topics, as a result people just saw me as weird and therefore would treat me one way to my face but wind up actually being total idiots behind my back. What's more, at one point some idiot of a girl who had pretended to be my friend, created a group called "We Hate Sean" and it basically became a group of about 30 people, though more like 20 since ten were trying to defend me, who would bash me and talk about weird things I did. Such as the fact in music class, I was trying to help this one girl with her solo because I like to try and help people as much as I can, and on the site she goes and says something like "oh he tried to help me with my solo when he can't even sing", yet funny enough it was me getting the 80s and 90s on solos and her getting the 60s...(I apologize if that sounds as though I'm being petty, I'm just saying that I gave her my time when I could have practiced my solo to help her, and she goes around and slams me behind my back. The one good thing about this group was it helped show me who were my true friends, and who were petty fake people who frankly deserved no friends except those who were on that group. I really should have reported it to the Principal since it was cyber-bullying, but I felt I was strong enough to deal with it on my own, which I was slowly becoming more confident in myself. But when I look back, I almost wish I had reported it because then some of the people who had joined who are like 80+ well-respected students would have wound up expelled and it would have shown so many who they really were. But like I said, I'm not that type of person, and I just couldn't do that so I dealt with it on my own by reporting it to Facebook for it's removal and it was removed.
But like I said, it seems we're always being graded as to whether we fit the norm, or fit outside of it. This is another reason why I feel I belong in Toronto or New York or Hollywood, because unlike a place like St. Thomas or London, etc. it's a place that accepts those who perhaps are theatrical, or a bit over the top sometimes. So that's my rant for today. I hope you all enjoyed it and I appreciate you reading :D
So good day today minus one downside. I had a relaxing beginning to the afternoon, just watching some television and also getting my Project Runway Season 4 DVD :P. Then it was the lovely time of running errands. Going to the bank, then going to EB Games to pick up Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands and Super Mario Galaxy 2. Then it was off to Superstore for grocery shopping however they didn't have the jam or crackers I wanted which meant it was off to metro (it has no capital M) to get those items plus a couple of other things. I then finally headed over to get my dog Scout from the kennel but then realized I still needed to get him food so once I picked up Scout I got the food and headed home.
I mowed the lawn today which also was a dumb idea doing it in 27 degrees Celsius weather. I swear I nearly passed out because of my stupidity. Luckily the mower decided to stop itself so I was done for the day.
The rest of the night was watching tv, including the AMAZING Gaga Glee episode. I just loved it to DEATH!
Autism-wise, I suppose the only thing that happened was when talking to my mother on the phone about the lawn and such, I didn't know when to cut it short so I almost started rambling till my mom said she had to go.
So I'm finally home from Florida and it was such an awesome time! Yesterday was definitely an...interesting day though because my nephew Mason was cranky most of the way home except during the flight which he thankfully was very calm. Anyway, none the less, it was a good trip though I felt so freaking exhausted and got to bed early last night...though 3AM really isn't "early".
Autism-wise, I think the only thing that happened yesterday was I was worried I was talking Tam's (my sister-in-law) ear off when we were driving home so I wound up apologizing more than once which of course was kind of silly :P.
That's all for talking about yesterday. I'll post again later today about how my day went today.
So to begin with, wow it's been an amazing vacation but I can't wait to be home. Autism-wise I'll say the things I've noticed most were 1. worrying overly about my sister who is older than me having been at the resort bar longer than she had said so of course I feel like I need to check on her which is just silly. The other thing also being times where I'm just like talking about stuff more than I really need to. This could be autistic, this might not be, none the less.
Florida's been amazing though, minus several headaches I've been having. River Island which is a mini water area with lazy river and two water slides, as well as a large inflatable water slide and mini golf, was so much fun as it always is, and West Village which was the main area that existed before it expanded was fun as usual.
Seeing Shrek: Forever After was a lot of fun. It was a great way to conclude the Shrek series with Shrek learning a valuable lesson (just like every other heartwarming tale -_-). But ti was still a good film minus it following along the usual storyline for heart-warmers....
That's all for today! I'm looking forward to returning home where we're suppose to get like 90 degree weather (25-30 Celsius for Canadians like me) when I return home which is wonderful though unlike in Florida where it's a nice heat, in my area it's going to be more a very humid heat which kind of sucks but it's better than 60 (10-15 degree) weather...
Anyway, that's all for today my friends like I said! Sean
So I apologize for being so late in my posts. I hope you will forgive me :p. I may not post often this week being in Florida and all. Monday and Tuesday were periods of exhaustion because of all the traveling and at the same time, when it comes to my autism, I was so paranoid and nervous about flying, that basically as a result I was just upset in my stomach and couldn't eat anything. It just really was unfortunate because then when I got to where my parents were staying, I ate just soooo much and probably put on fifty pounds :P.
Florida is beautiful as always, with temperatures in the high 80s/low 90s. The resort we're staying is absolutely beautiful (we've stayed here before) and it's just an awesome time. I really hope the rest of my trip goes great, and I also hope that come time to return, it will be a safe return and I won't feel so ill again...
That's all for today. Hope you won't mind breaks this week just because of being in Florida... Sean
So normal day today. Work, tutoring, and just enjoying life. I think the only autistic thing that actually happened today was the case that when talking to the boy I tutor, I may have not known when to shut up :P
As for what I want to talk about, I do have to say the other thing I've noticed about my autism is that I almost freak out when I lose internet which I think is kind of ridiculous on my part. Like I get to the point where I'm just praying that the internet comes back on, connecting and reconnecting the modem and router just to try and get it back instead of just being patient and waiting for Rogers (the company I'm with) to fix it. So why is that? Why is it that we've come to rely so much on technology? It seems as though as a population we can no longer survive without having technology. What happened to a good book? Or going and performing music or going to an old fashioned concert without the need for amplifiers and such? Frankly it's quite ridiculous that now we've even reached the point in life where roommates in the same room as each other will use Instant Messaging to talk to each other.
That's just my opinion, and as you can see I am one of these very people and freak if I lose it. Now whether that's because of my autism or another reason, I don't know, but I do know it really is kind of sad.
So it was a sort of crummy/good day. I say crummy because I only got five hours of sleep last night. But I say good because it still was an enjoyable day, very relaxing once work was done and over with. I basically just played video games all night :P it was just so much fun. Autistic-wise, I think the only thing that happened was the over-stimulation by technology which is why when at Lauren's it took me so long to get to bed.
Now the title of my blog.
I have to ask everyone, what is it these days that has cheating on the rise. How many people do I know who had the sad pleasure of finding out their partners had cheated on them. So the reason I'm asking everyone is because to me it's a case of "Is cheating the new monogamy?" There was even a recent study about this one website that actually HELPS married people cheat, and interesting to find out, married women made up 75% of the people on the website! I'm sorry but is that ridiculous, have we really reached the level that cheating is the new definition of monogamy? Does everyone have to cheat to have a relationship?
Then there's the case of open relationships which basically just takes cheating to the next level, and basically makes cheating legal in a relationship. Frankly I have to ask, what happened to the whole true meaning of monogamy? Two people, bound together for life because of love. Apparently that's deceased now, and cheating is the new way to feel alive. I disagree, but who knows, maybe I'm just one of those old fashioned guys who actually believes in true love and monogamy.
Day went quite well, I headed to London because I was hanging out with Lauren today. We had dinner at Jack Astor's which is always fun, and fattening :P. Then we went and saw Letters to Juliet, which was a beautiful movie. While yes, it was the usual romantic comedy, at the same time there were some very touching moments. Amanda Seyfried did a wonderful job as Sophie, yes she had the same name as her Mamma Mia character, whom wrote to a woman Claire who had written a letter to Juliet fifty years prior to the present time. I would go more into it like I have before but I don't want to spoil it for any of you romance-goers.
I'll post some more later, but autism-wise all that happened was that I kept worrying I was saying the wrong things to Lauren but of course I wasn't. Just my being paranoid :p
So my day was another dull one. I had to work with Chris and already going to say that it was more of Chris's constant asking when we were leaving. But I'd say the only other thing that happened autistic wise was I was doing a minor amount of grocery shopping, just picking up some minor items, and I talked to the cashier mentioning that at a different variety store a jumbo sized container was cheaper than the small container. I think I should of just figured, why did I need to bring this up, but I guess it was one of those lovely occasions where you can't help but bring up something completely random and make an awkward situation. It might not be autism, but none the less, it was AWKWARD. :P
Another thing I need to say is regarding how some things I really hate about in the world. For example, I tried getting a job at this one store that has a specific area of focus, video games, and being that I'm a video game fanatic, you'd figure it'd be easy for me to get a job there. Instead I walk in to find this one girl from my high school is now working there, someone who last I checked has never been interested in video games. Plus when I walked in, she looked at me as though I was dirt on the bottom of her shoe and she treated me the same way too. It irritated me so much I can't even get it off my mind because it is so ridiculous.
Now, the title of my blog, the future. Frankly I've been doing some soul searching and I've come to realize that I really have no idea what the heck I want to do with my life. Well...I do, I want to be an actor more than anything. Even though it's been a while since I did dance, but I still know how to dance, I can sing (I didn't do poorly on my vocal classes, I actually did smashing, so I must have some voice), and I know I can act because I don't take it to the point of perfection. However, as you also know, I'm in a Psychology program as a back up. But the fact is, I'm not happy. I only am ever happy when I'm acting, and while some directors may not always make it amazing, I still love it. I've been acting for years, and I just know that it's what is for me, but sadly it's also very difficult to get into...especially in Hollywood where I really want to go, to help entertain millions. To me it's about bringing joy to people who see movies, and it's what I'd love to get into... This is just me thinking about it and expressing my love of it...
Anyway that's all tonight, Thanks for reading my friends, Sean
My day was a relatively normal. I had work with Chris as usual, in which we watched Brother Bear. I'd say the only thing that really happened was that I had to work on keeping myself once again from snapping at Chris. Odd thing that did happen was for some reason, Chris slapped himself in the face out of the blue. Not hard, but he still slapped himself which just confused me as to why he'd slap himself.
The thing I have to talk about today is Bullying, because recently a 13-year old from my city died because of bullying. Bullying is one of the worst things going on these days, but frankly it's one of the worst things that has been happening for centuries. Bullying can be found throughout every time period, from Napoleon Bonaparte, to the bullies who caused this boy's life to end. While I cannot really speculate what happened or how this boy's life ended because that would just be rude and irresponsible and probably even hurtful to the family, the fact is he was bullied and the school board won't even admit it despite apparent proof being everywhere.
Bullying is constantly happening, everyone bullies, or at least most do. Whether it's among races, sexual orientations, religions, it doesn't matter, bullying happens and we seriously need to figure out a way to stop this. But even if we're saying something bad about someone and they don't hear it, that's still bullying. It's just so beyond ridiculous that we can't just be nice to one another but the fact is, because we're all unique, people have to attack those who are different from them because it makes them feel powerful and in control.
So what happened to me today? Absolutely NOTHING. I had a hair cut and that was basically it. I didn't have tutoring, and I didn't have work so as you can guess it was a pretty dull day. My only autistic thing that happened was me being unable to sleep last night due to the being alone thing. Obviously I'll be okay tonight since I'm not alone now that my parents are home again, but still it really annoys me. (Please Note: I was okay for sleeping for much of the past couple nights, but last night I just was not so hot. Don't know why, just wasn't).
ANYWHO, tonight on Glee it was such a fantastic episode. The Glee-clubbers had to choose a song that best represented them, who they felt they were and who their voice was. Rachel Berry was unfortunately losing her voice and it culminated when she tried singing her piece for the assignment, Miley Cyrus' The Climb. However, instead of a beautiful piece from Lea Michele as always, it was extremely off key, parts were barely singing, it was clear though that Lea can really act well at pretending to sing poorly, otherwise it would not have sounded as "not perfect" as it sounded. Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith) performed a stunning rendition of "Jessie's Song" by Rick Springfield, due to his continuing affection for Rachel and wanting for her to pick him over Jessie (Jonathan Groff).
The other side of this episode was a focus around Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer) feeling rejected by his father who is taking Finn to sporting events and not inviting him. Feeling dejected, his tries to change his flamboyant self, into a more butch version going so far as to dress in flannel and overalls like his father, sings "Pink Houses" by John Mellencamp for his Glee assignment, and even tries to pretend dating Brittany (Heather Morris) and goes so far as to make out with her. It isn't until his father tells him about another sporting event he's taking Finn to, that Kurt finally tells him off and then goes off to the stage and sings "Rose's Turn" replacing Rose with his own name, from Gypsy: A Musical Fable, that his father walks in telling him that it was an amazing performance and he could get into that sort of genre (show tunes). Kurt and his father reconcile, with his father telling him he still loves him, and the two leave.
Rachel eventually regains her voice and ends off the show singing "One" by U2 at first with a friend of Finn's, Sean, who had been paralyzed in a football game but at the same time realized even though he could no longer do football, he still had other talents. It was through this that Rachel was able to regain her confidence and realize even if she lost her voice, it wasn't the only thing that defined her. The scene then shifted over to the Glee Club performing the song, and then ending the show by returning to the two singing.
There was also a brief storyline about Puck (Mark Salling) trying to regain his bully reputation at the school, and he tries to win over Mercedes who has become popular by becoming a cheerleader. He sings to her "The Lady is a Tramp" by Sammy Davis Jr. and is able to win her over. This however results in a duet between Mercedes and Puck's former girlfriend Santana (Naya Rivera) sing "The Boy Is Mine" by Brandy and Monica. Upon realizing that Puck had been using her popularity to become a bully again, Mercedes resigns from the Cheerios and breaks up with Puck.
Personally I loved the episode because it helped communicate the message of having confidence in yourself and just being who you are and not letting one thing define you.
Anyway, I hope you liked my review of the episode. I hope the writing wasn't too horrible. Sean
So I apologize in advance because I have basically nothing to talk about today. I had a quiet day of playing video games, working with Chris, and tutoring. The autism thing that happened today is the same thing that's been happening the past three days with Chris. Simply a slight irritation that he had to keep asking me about when we were leaving.
So quick update on the day. I worked as always with Chris. No tutoring today as we got all of it finished on Friday. I think autism-wise the only thing that really happened was the whole Chris thing I explained yesterday. Make sure to read yesterday's post as I'm not going to explain it again.
As for what I want to talk about well it's pretty simple. It's this whole fact that so many of us (the population) dating and everything, it's been making me think, why do we date? Is it a case of wanting to be needed? Or is it love? I've been thinking a lot and I don't know, I've been finding that we all have this need to feel needed. Why is it that so many of us feel we need someone not necessarily to be happy, but just for the whole companionship and such. I may know these days I don't need a relationship to be happy, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like one just for the benefits of a relationship. Someone to love, someone who loves you, someone to hang with, someone to treat, someone who treats you, and someone who knows you so completely. Why is this? Why do we need this sort of thing?
I think the reasoning behind this is sort of what my friend said to me. "You know how tough it is to raise your hand in class if you're the only one who doesn't "get" something, or if you have an opposing viewpoint? But as long as you have that one other person who feels the same way, it makes it SO much easier? It's the same sort of idea. We're getting confirmation that we're on the right track. And that makes things easier."
I suppose he's right, but for now all I can pose is a question for you. Why do you think we always have to be in a relationship? Why can't we just be single and be so content that we never worry? Like George Clooney for instance? He's a bachelor and seems just completely content with it. So tell me, what do you think?
Boring day today, comprised of work, and watching a lot of tv. :P
Now as for autism, well I think the only thing that happened was I got rather irritated (by this I mean not yelling, but just getting a bit more stern in my words) at Chris again because he kept asking what time we were leaving, for every minute or second that passed. I'd almost think that he has Alzheimer's now too because he's forgetting what I said, only five seconds after I say it. But it's clear that I'm just not telling him a specific way that allows him to understand. But I mean I tell him what time we're leaving. I tell him how many minutes till we leave. I tell him I'll tell him WHEN it's time to go. But no matter what I tell him, or how I tell him, he completely forgets that I just told him a minute ago and asks me again.
I suppose I understand him though, it really is just a case of impatience, but more importantly with Chris, it's a case that only certain things keep him focused. As a result, when he gets bored of what we're doing, he wants to go home, so he will constantly ask when we're leaving. It's simple as that. So as a result I keep telling him because I can't take him home yet.
I'm a 22 year old student at King's College at the University of Western Ontario. I've been a member of students councils for the past 8 years of my life, including Communications Coordinator and Website Commissioner. I'm in Psychology at Western, and have a big passion for acting. I'd love to get into movies if I could, but for now, I'm just living life and loving my friends and the productions I'm in at school :).
