So it's been a dull couple of days hence the few posts. I had some tutoring to do, working with Chris, and just having a relatively dull weekend. I think the one thing that ticked me off was that I was going to see Prince of Persia with Chris but then last minute just as I picked him up he tells me he doesn't want to see it because it looks "too scary". The thing that's annoying is that he's 21 and I don't see how an action movie like the Prince is scary but I suppose for Chris, his mind is like a 4 year old's not 21..
What else to talk about? My summer's going quite well, I'm enjoying it a great deal. My autism has appeared to be at an all time low for quirks. Though it wasn't that way originally. Since I'm so use to structure, having gotten into summer it took me a while for me to finally get into a sort of structure. Apparently otherwise I act very "off" and very hyper at the same time. I might have talked about this before, but I don't think I did...
Anyway, that's all for today's post. This is counting as Friday to Sunday's posts, I hope you don't mind I just figure I covered basically everything regarding this weekend. So talk to you all Monday! Sean
So quick summary of the day: got up, had to turn on the stupid pump for the pool but it means our pool will hopefully be open sooner than later, worked with Chris which wasn't bad since we watched the rest of Monsters Vs Aliens which is such a good film :p and then just went back home. Autism-wise, I think the only part that happened was when I saw two friends of mine at the mall (went there too :P). The thing was, they looked different so I was so unsure about whether I should say hi because what if it wasn't them? Then I'd feel soooo awkward. This probably isn't autism :P but I just have to say maybe it is?
Question for you all though on a general scale. Do you find that in this world, we're all secretly being graded? And I don't mean in school, I mean in public, in our friendships, our relationships, everything? I feel as though no matter what we're doing, even if just enjoying a movie with our friends, we're secretly being graded on how we act, what we do, and who we are. But I suppose that's how life is really; we're constantly being judged and placed next to a standard of how people are suppose to be, and if you are against that standard, you're generally shunned for it and separated from "the herd" if you will. This especially applies in more conservative areas, because everyone in those areas want you to follow their rules so if you try and go against it, or are different, you get kicked to the curb.
This I find is very true because throughout high school, I found that many people seemed that they liked me, but as the years went by, more and more people I found were becoming two faced. For example, students council president, I felt I had strong support and a lot of people in the school liked me, but then at the end when I lost, I found out I lost hard because I only got such a small amount of votes. Basically it just made me go "huh" because so many people had said they'd vote for me because of what I believed was best for the school, and then they turned around and voted for the other candidates. Why? It's plain and simple, the fact is because my autism resulted in me often acting weird with friends or getting in their personal spaces or talking more than I should on topics, as a result people just saw me as weird and therefore would treat me one way to my face but wind up actually being total idiots behind my back. What's more, at one point some idiot of a girl who had pretended to be my friend, created a group called "We Hate Sean" and it basically became a group of about 30 people, though more like 20 since ten were trying to defend me, who would bash me and talk about weird things I did. Such as the fact in music class, I was trying to help this one girl with her solo because I like to try and help people as much as I can, and on the site she goes and says something like "oh he tried to help me with my solo when he can't even sing", yet funny enough it was me getting the 80s and 90s on solos and her getting the 60s...(I apologize if that sounds as though I'm being petty, I'm just saying that I gave her my time when I could have practiced my solo to help her, and she goes around and slams me behind my back. The one good thing about this group was it helped show me who were my true friends, and who were petty fake people who frankly deserved no friends except those who were on that group. I really should have reported it to the Principal since it was cyber-bullying, but I felt I was strong enough to deal with it on my own, which I was slowly becoming more confident in myself. But when I look back, I almost wish I had reported it because then some of the people who had joined who are like 80+ well-respected students would have wound up expelled and it would have shown so many who they really were. But like I said, I'm not that type of person, and I just couldn't do that so I dealt with it on my own by reporting it to Facebook for it's removal and it was removed.
But like I said, it seems we're always being graded as to whether we fit the norm, or fit outside of it. This is another reason why I feel I belong in Toronto or New York or Hollywood, because unlike a place like St. Thomas or London, etc. it's a place that accepts those who perhaps are theatrical, or a bit over the top sometimes. So that's my rant for today. I hope you all enjoyed it and I appreciate you reading :D
So good day today minus one downside. I had a relaxing beginning to the afternoon, just watching some television and also getting my Project Runway Season 4 DVD :P. Then it was the lovely time of running errands. Going to the bank, then going to EB Games to pick up Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands and Super Mario Galaxy 2. Then it was off to Superstore for grocery shopping however they didn't have the jam or crackers I wanted which meant it was off to metro (it has no capital M) to get those items plus a couple of other things. I then finally headed over to get my dog Scout from the kennel but then realized I still needed to get him food so once I picked up Scout I got the food and headed home.
I mowed the lawn today which also was a dumb idea doing it in 27 degrees Celsius weather. I swear I nearly passed out because of my stupidity. Luckily the mower decided to stop itself so I was done for the day.
The rest of the night was watching tv, including the AMAZING Gaga Glee episode. I just loved it to DEATH!
Autism-wise, I suppose the only thing that happened was when talking to my mother on the phone about the lawn and such, I didn't know when to cut it short so I almost started rambling till my mom said she had to go.
So I'm finally home from Florida and it was such an awesome time! Yesterday was definitely an...interesting day though because my nephew Mason was cranky most of the way home except during the flight which he thankfully was very calm. Anyway, none the less, it was a good trip though I felt so freaking exhausted and got to bed early last night...though 3AM really isn't "early".
Autism-wise, I think the only thing that happened yesterday was I was worried I was talking Tam's (my sister-in-law) ear off when we were driving home so I wound up apologizing more than once which of course was kind of silly :P.
That's all for talking about yesterday. I'll post again later today about how my day went today.
So to begin with, wow it's been an amazing vacation but I can't wait to be home. Autism-wise I'll say the things I've noticed most were 1. worrying overly about my sister who is older than me having been at the resort bar longer than she had said so of course I feel like I need to check on her which is just silly. The other thing also being times where I'm just like talking about stuff more than I really need to. This could be autistic, this might not be, none the less.
Florida's been amazing though, minus several headaches I've been having. River Island which is a mini water area with lazy river and two water slides, as well as a large inflatable water slide and mini golf, was so much fun as it always is, and West Village which was the main area that existed before it expanded was fun as usual.
Seeing Shrek: Forever After was a lot of fun. It was a great way to conclude the Shrek series with Shrek learning a valuable lesson (just like every other heartwarming tale -_-). But ti was still a good film minus it following along the usual storyline for heart-warmers....
That's all for today! I'm looking forward to returning home where we're suppose to get like 90 degree weather (25-30 Celsius for Canadians like me) when I return home which is wonderful though unlike in Florida where it's a nice heat, in my area it's going to be more a very humid heat which kind of sucks but it's better than 60 (10-15 degree) weather...
Anyway, that's all for today my friends like I said! Sean
So I apologize for being so late in my posts. I hope you will forgive me :p. I may not post often this week being in Florida and all. Monday and Tuesday were periods of exhaustion because of all the traveling and at the same time, when it comes to my autism, I was so paranoid and nervous about flying, that basically as a result I was just upset in my stomach and couldn't eat anything. It just really was unfortunate because then when I got to where my parents were staying, I ate just soooo much and probably put on fifty pounds :P.
Florida is beautiful as always, with temperatures in the high 80s/low 90s. The resort we're staying is absolutely beautiful (we've stayed here before) and it's just an awesome time. I really hope the rest of my trip goes great, and I also hope that come time to return, it will be a safe return and I won't feel so ill again...
That's all for today. Hope you won't mind breaks this week just because of being in Florida... Sean
So normal day today. Work, tutoring, and just enjoying life. I think the only autistic thing that actually happened today was the case that when talking to the boy I tutor, I may have not known when to shut up :P
As for what I want to talk about, I do have to say the other thing I've noticed about my autism is that I almost freak out when I lose internet which I think is kind of ridiculous on my part. Like I get to the point where I'm just praying that the internet comes back on, connecting and reconnecting the modem and router just to try and get it back instead of just being patient and waiting for Rogers (the company I'm with) to fix it. So why is that? Why is it that we've come to rely so much on technology? It seems as though as a population we can no longer survive without having technology. What happened to a good book? Or going and performing music or going to an old fashioned concert without the need for amplifiers and such? Frankly it's quite ridiculous that now we've even reached the point in life where roommates in the same room as each other will use Instant Messaging to talk to each other.
That's just my opinion, and as you can see I am one of these very people and freak if I lose it. Now whether that's because of my autism or another reason, I don't know, but I do know it really is kind of sad.
I'm a 22 year old student at King's College at the University of Western Ontario. I've been a member of students councils for the past 8 years of my life, including Communications Coordinator and Website Commissioner. I'm in Psychology at Western, and have a big passion for acting. I'd love to get into movies if I could, but for now, I'm just living life and loving my friends and the productions I'm in at school :).
